I Lied

Okay, I lied a little in the title of this post.  It took a little bit more then the small change to increase sales so much, but I'll get to that detail in a moment. Before I explain the change I want to assure you I did thorough A/B testing on this and the results were other worldly.

The Change

First off I want to show you the 20Couch (a self-hosted PHP Twitter client) buy now button when the site launched earlier in the month.

Pretty basic right?  Now check out the new version which converts at an unbelievable rate.

Now I know what you're thinking.  How can threatening physical harm to your potential customers actually improve conversions?  Truthfully it didn't...at first.  The key?  Follow through!

The Terrorizing

You can't make a threat like that and then just let it go.  You need to follow through on the promise otherwise people will just think it's some weird joke and move along.  It isn't practical to terrorize everyone that doesn't buy, but once you visit a few word tends to get around. 

How To Terrorize Effectively

I tracked every visitor's IP address and would select a few at random each week.  After geo locating their residence I would go to their house and wait for them to be fast asleep. When the time was perfect I would crash through their bedroom window wielding a 7-foot chainsaw (I nicknamed it Mr. Cutty).  Standing over them in bed I would yell something like "BUY 20COUCH!"  Then I'd shove the chainsaw between their legs and cut a big ass whole in their mattress. 

I clipped a guy's leg once by mistake.  It was a mess.  You wouldn't think it would be so hard to clean chunks of human flesh out of a comically large chainsaw.  But I'll tell you there wasn't one person in his neighborhood who didn't place an order the next day.

Small Technicalities

We all know that it isn't easy to map an IP address to a physical address.  Often times I would end up at the wrong house.  I felt a bit bad about this, but crazy enough it still worked.  I guess what my Gramps used to say is true: "Close - good enough for horseshoes, hand grenades and intercourse."

Mixing It Up

I know this is going to sound insane, but storming a random person's house and swinging a massive chainsaw over their head can get kinda boring after the first 2-3 hundred times.  To keep things fresh I like to mix it up.  Sometimes I go for the subtle approach: slide into bed next to the customer and gently whisper "buy 20Couch" in their ear until they wake up.  Then I ride the chainsaw around the room like it's a pretend horse.  I always make doubly sure to leave it off.

Gratitude

I've found people actually like this approach once they get over the initial shock.  Check out this email I got last week.

Dear Matt, Thank you for storming my house and scaring me into buying 20Couch.  It's really made my Twitter experience more enjoyable.  I consider it my fault that you had to cut a hole in my wall and destroy my mattress to convince me.

Thanks,

Bob

PS - Do you know what happened to my dog?  The morning after you visited he was gone and there were drag marks and blood stains in the backyard.  Could just be a coincidence.

Don't Forget

Traveling the country and keeping a 7-foot chainsaw in good condition can get expensive quickly.  Remember that these are all business expenses, so you can deduct them on your taxes.  I count these visits as sales calls.

One Last Thing

I hate to do this to you guys, but I'm going to need you to go buy a 20Couch license now.  Don't make me bring Mr. Cutty to: